A week after the attack of the Glitter Gal Gang it was Saturday, January 25, 2020. I finished the Saturday shift in the library at my university (Grace Christian University). My girlfriend and her posse headed out for a girls day at the county library, Starbucks, and whatever else girls do together which remains a mystery. After I closed at 3:00 pm a friend of mine came along with me to see if my girlfriend and her minion had left their dorm door unlocked. They did, I smiled and jumped with joy. I walked in while my friend was being the watch dog. I had already known that my girlfriend kept her glitter in her closet from previous conversations where I elicited information. The glitter was up top next to the arts and crafts stuff. I used all of her own glitter on all of her room. I was using her own resources against her and her roommate, so that they would be out of it and could not get me back right away with the glitter. It reminded me of the scene in Black Panther where Killmonger used the tactic of destroying all of the heart-shaped herb. It took away any obligation the Wakandan’s had to strike back against him.
After I had dumped out all her resources of glitter, I had a bright idea. Now, I’m not the type to be influential or to drive others, but the passion of revenge inside made me a different person. I went into the commons to gather five other guys to help me with a brute force task. I rallied the troops and it didn’t take much to get them when I said the words, “Prank in girls dorms”. We went in like a SWAT team and moved their beds with frames and all outside in the quad. I’m glad there were six of us to quickly do the job within 10 minutes. All of us men went back to our individual homework and pretended like nothing happened.
I sat in the commons window reading Turtles all the way Down by John Green while waiting for their return. I saw the Glitter Gang approach the main doors. I quickly went outside the back way without being noticed. I was outside hiding like a detective on a side of the brick wall waiting for a bust. Really, I was waiting for the gang to walk out of the commons through the quad to their dorm. When they walked out I was unseen and there they were taking pictures, recording, and laughing when they saw their beds. They couldn’t believe how far it had went. I came out from the side of the wall and stood behind them like a clever Sherlock Holmes who had anticipated everything to go the way he had envisioned. The game was on! as Sherlock would say.
Dinner had just begun, so I decided to enjoy a nice warm meal of broccoli Alfredo and garlic bread in the cafeteria while they ran to rescue their covers from the January mist. My girlfriend sat next to me with conflicted feelings of bitterness and appreciation. She is super schedule oriented, so this was a huge inconvenience against her plans for the rest of the night. It made it even better for me to bask in the glory of the pride, which came with their responses and reactions. As she was sitting next to me she reached her hand over as if she were to give me a side hug, but then something felt like sand down my back…. It was glitter! You missed a vile of white glitter,! she said. I thought to myself, “You missed one vile, Ryan, How could you let that happen”! I slightly moved in my seat and the glitter that was settled, unsettled and fell into the back part of my pants. I was ruined. I acted calm and collected, but on the inside I was truly dying I thought. The game was on and not over at all. Of course she thought she got the last act. But, she did not.
They rejected my kind offer of helping them clean up. My girlfriend and her roommate left their door open and paused on cleaning to attend a Bible study. During that time I asked my friend from earlier who was my watch dog, to give me a ride to Dollar Tree and help me with another prank. I bought every single 1 dollar pack of little Styrofoam balls that were the size of tiny beads. We took each off the rack into the cradle of our arms, because we didn’t have a cart or basket (It looked like a librarian with too many books about to fall over). The stereotypical guy with long hair, that wore red flannel pajama’s while working, who also probably smoked weed had scanned each pack one by one. The total cost came out to be $31.00 rounded up. My friend, “the watch dog” scoped out the area of the Glitter Gal Gang Bible study area, and saw them in the commons. we were good to go in. We savagely popped open each package with excitement and anxiousness from the uncertainty of their arrival.
I had texted my girlfriend what she first texted me. “Feel free to call when you see it”. About an hour in a half later I received a text from her saying, “Have fun with your new girlfriend. I hope you and Barbie are very happy together”(that was a remark in reference to my comment, “Looks like I have a new girlfriend” when I found the Barbie in my closet). My friend, “the watch dog” and I laughed snobbishly. I walked to her dorm in my pj’s at 9:00 pm to help them clean up. It was only fair because they helped me. They were in agony with the Styrofoam getting everywhere in the beds, hair, bags, etc… At the end of the night we ended it with an episode of Psych and popcorn.
However that was no sign of reconciliation. They have a glitter bomb in a spray can to deploy in my house. The game is still on!
More parts to come…