Compassionate Hopelessness – Myself (Ryan Rowe)

From the inside out I see the rain trickle down. I feel it on my face but not on my house. Sitting in a car I forgot to turn the windshield wipers on.

From the outside in, passing people by, always asking God why. Present to past looking in the mirrors back on time. People suffered then, people suffered now. On this horizontal road of truth traveling forward.

In this car safe and sound. Why am I here, Why am I here!? people in the rain, people in the rain. In this car safe and sound.

From the inside out I see the rain trickle down. I feel it on my face but not on my house. Sitting in a car I forgot to turn the windshield wipers on.

Libraries are Magic…. So are Fish….

Libraries are magical…. I’m sure many people could say they have had a so called “magical experience” at some point in their life. Well, libraries have always been a magical place for me. There is one library in particular where the most magical occurrences have taken place in the story of my life, and in those who are around me.

In this magical library there is a man who is my boss. He is full of secrets (as a magician never tells his secrets). Of course he is full of wonders. He is a magical librarian, unpredictable, full of knowledge, puns, and fun times. This magical man reminds me of an old school mafia gangster by his attire and hair style. Never judge a book by it’s cover as the cliche saying goes. Honestly though, he does look like Christopher Walken from catch me if you can and other great movies. I’ll come back to my boss soon….

My freshmen year in my second semester I decided to be in the library to study all the time, because I did not trust myself in my room. I might have chosen to fall asleep instead. There was something about being surrounded by books shelved all around and all the way up. Due to my consistent showing of face, diligent studying in the library and calling it my home, I was asked to be a student staff member. The student services librarian asked me, and she pretty much is our mom.

The library is not only magical because I received a job there…. It is also apart of how my girlfriend and I got together. That is not only why the library is magical, because I got a job and a girlfriend. There is more….

While I was spending Thanksgiving break with my girlfriend and her family we went Christmas shopping. The library crew and I were having a secret Santa party at the library and I was the Librarian Director’s secret Santa. We got him a blue male beta fish at a Meijer in Indiana. We fed him for the last few days while we were at her house. We drove about three hours back with Temporary Garry Jerry in her Mom and Dad’s van. That’s what we decided to name him until our librarian would permanently name him.

While we were back on campus we fed Temporary Garry Jerry for another weak until the party came. We finally gave Temporary Garry Jerry to the head librarian. He was caught off guard and said, “I never had a fish before”. He had a lot fun and then Temporary Garry Jerry’s name changed to “The Mr. Incredible Limpet”. I asked, “What is that”? He said it was from a movie where a librarian magically turned into a fish.

All the unintentional ironies made me laugh. How could it be that my boss is both a magician and a librarian, and we got him a fish for Christmas that reminded him of a movie where a man magically turned into a fish.

Now, that is magical, but the most magical part of this story is I realized that it isn’t magic, but a blessing to have this type of family. The Bultema Memorial Library is my pillar of stones like the ones set up in the book of Joshua as a sign of God’s faithfulness. It is how God delivered me into something great.

A Little Glimmer of Glitter Part Two: A Spontaneous Revenge

A week after the attack of the Glitter Gal Gang it was Saturday, January 25, 2020. I finished the Saturday shift in the library at my university (Grace Christian University). My girlfriend and her posse headed out for a girls day at the county library, Starbucks, and whatever else girls do together which remains a mystery. After I closed at 3:00 pm a friend of mine came along with me to see if my girlfriend and her minion had left their dorm door unlocked. They did, I smiled and jumped with joy. I walked in while my friend was being the watch dog. I had already known that my girlfriend kept her glitter in her closet from previous conversations where I elicited information. The glitter was up top next to the arts and crafts stuff. I used all of her own glitter on all of her room. I was using her own resources against her and her roommate, so that they would be out of it and could not get me back right away with the glitter. It reminded me of the scene in Black Panther where Killmonger used the tactic of destroying all of the heart-shaped herb. It took away any obligation the Wakandan’s had to strike back against him.

After I had dumped out all her resources of glitter, I had a bright idea. Now, I’m not the type to be influential or to drive others, but the passion of revenge inside made me a different person. I went into the commons to gather five other guys to help me with a brute force task. I rallied the troops and it didn’t take much to get them when I said the words, “Prank in girls dorms”. We went in like a SWAT team and moved their beds with frames and all outside in the quad. I’m glad there were six of us to quickly do the job within 10 minutes. All of us men went back to our individual homework and pretended like nothing happened.

I sat in the commons window reading Turtles all the way Down by John Green while waiting for their return. I saw the Glitter Gang approach the main doors. I quickly went outside the back way without being noticed. I was outside hiding like a detective on a side of the brick wall waiting for a bust. Really, I was waiting for the gang to walk out of the commons through the quad to their dorm. When they walked out I was unseen and there they were taking pictures, recording, and laughing when they saw their beds. They couldn’t believe how far it had went. I came out from the side of the wall and stood behind them like a clever Sherlock Holmes who had anticipated everything to go the way he had envisioned. The game was on! as Sherlock would say.

Dinner had just begun, so I decided to enjoy a nice warm meal of broccoli Alfredo and garlic bread in the cafeteria while they ran to rescue their covers from the January mist. My girlfriend sat next to me with conflicted feelings of bitterness and appreciation. She is super schedule oriented, so this was a huge inconvenience against her plans for the rest of the night. It made it even better for me to bask in the glory of the pride, which came with their responses and reactions. As she was sitting next to me she reached her hand over as if she were to give me a side hug, but then something felt like sand down my back…. It was glitter! You missed a vile of white glitter,! she said. I thought to myself, “You missed one vile, Ryan, How could you let that happen”! I slightly moved in my seat and the glitter that was settled, unsettled and fell into the back part of my pants. I was ruined. I acted calm and collected, but on the inside I was truly dying I thought. The game was on and not over at all. Of course she thought she got the last act. But, she did not.

They rejected my kind offer of helping them clean up. My girlfriend and her roommate left their door open and paused on cleaning to attend a Bible study. During that time I asked my friend from earlier who was my watch dog, to give me a ride to Dollar Tree and help me with another prank. I bought every single 1 dollar pack of little Styrofoam balls that were the size of tiny beads. We took each off the rack into the cradle of our arms, because we didn’t have a cart or basket (It looked like a librarian with too many books about to fall over). The stereotypical guy with long hair, that wore red flannel pajama’s while working, who also probably smoked weed had scanned each pack one by one. The total cost came out to be $31.00 rounded up. My friend, “the watch dog” scoped out the area of the Glitter Gal Gang Bible study area, and saw them in the commons. we were good to go in. We savagely popped open each package with excitement and anxiousness from the uncertainty of their arrival.

I had texted my girlfriend what she first texted me. “Feel free to call when you see it”. About an hour in a half later I received a text from her saying, “Have fun with your new girlfriend. I hope you and Barbie are very happy together”(that was a remark in reference to my comment, “Looks like I have a new girlfriend” when I found the Barbie in my closet). My friend, “the watch dog” and I laughed snobbishly. I walked to her dorm in my pj’s at 9:00 pm to help them clean up. It was only fair because they helped me. They were in agony with the Styrofoam getting everywhere in the beds, hair, bags, etc… At the end of the night we ended it with an episode of Psych and popcorn.

However that was no sign of reconciliation. They have a glitter bomb in a spray can to deploy in my house. The game is still on!

More parts to come…

A Little Glimmer of Glitter

On a Sunday January night I was leaving work at my University’s library about 11:30 pm. A minute or so after I closed down I received a text message from my girlfriend saying, “Feel free to call when you see it”. I was confused, but had an idea of what she and her motley crew of study buddies could have done. As I walked into my on campus housing I named, “The Hobbit Hole” my gut was sinking, my body felt light as if I were no longer inside, my throat tightened, and all I could think was, “Not my books, not my books, not the books”. (You could say I was having an anxiety attack). My books are pretty much my whole life as I am a broke college student with nothing else to really invest my money into other than coffee and the occasional midnight Taco Bell run. I skeptically walked toward my bedroom door, I fearfully twisted the knob, then I gently opened my door while creepily peeking my head in. Smiling while simultaneously letting out an exasperated sigh. Life is exhausting I thought to myself when I had seen the ever so delightful damage that was done to my harry potter style bedroom, which was under the upper level staircase.

Everything was shining in pink, purple, and white glitter!!! Pink and white streamers were blowing in the breeze of my fan. Pink balloons covered the floor. My life was doomed. I found a barbie doll in my closet and “Back off Barbie” was written on my bathroom mirror. I called my girlfriend to only hear the barbie song playing and the laughter of her Glitter Gal Gang. I decided to name them that. My girlfriend is really pretty and really smart; a wonderful, but yet dangerous combination. like I could call her the “Bomb Shell” which would make perfect sense as to why it looked like a bomb of arts and crafts went off in my room. She is always the inspiration behind her ideas. Her friends are the inspired and the doers of her evil ideas ( kind of like the minions from despicable me). Innocent and funny on their own, but loyal to her evil side. My books were fine with slight glittery dust on their covers, which was no problem to clean off. I was laying on the couch paralyzed by the feeling of being defeated at life, when my roommate came inside and asked me, “Are you alright”? I pointed toward my bedroom without looking at him. All I heard was, “What the hell”? in soft spoken questionable tone that had a grin on it. He let me vent afterward in my over dramatized Madonna attitude.

That night I camped out on my living room floor in my jeans and sweater half covered with my car-hart jacket as my blanket. I was cold and miserable. It was so cold. It reminded me of the episode of sponge-bob where he decides to live in the wild by himself. Sponge-bob used seaweed that only half covered his body as he was made miserable by the cold and the irritation of the sea urchins. My other roommate decided to be there with me. He slept on the couch. We have two couches, but our couches honestly suck, because they are from the school and are from the 60’s probably. So, I decided to take the floor.

That following Monday, I did homework like usual to distract myself from the realities of the world. Later that day my girlfriend and her friends were so nice to help clean my room with me. They shook off my bedding outside of the door way and up on the side walk. It was not over. Now there was no way of escaping the glitter. My roommates and I still track it in. It is January in Michigan, so it is snowing and cold. At night time the glitter in front of my house glimmers like the Northern Lights from Antarctica. Moral of the Story… Never tell your girlfriends friend, “Back off Barbie”.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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